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  • Writer's pictureShaghayegh Cyrous

The First Communication Tool!

Updated: Jul 22, 2020

Part 2: The Way, We Communicate

It is interesting to think about when was the first time we tried to communicate. The first time that we didn't even know how to speak or walk. The first cry when we entered this world and meant to say, "Hi, we are alive." Or even before that, the first time you kicked your mom's belly. And way after, perhaps it was a loud cry to tell our parents or our care support that we needed something, food, a diaper change, or even balancing the room's temperature. We were laughing and smiling to show how satisfied we were from a particular situation. Maybe a good entertainment, delicious milk, relief from a dirty diaper, or how we got the good vibe energy of a stranger's smile. And we experienced our first information exchange. We didn't even think about how to communicate. Or what would be the consequences if we cry at 3:16 am—the exact relief moment and time for them to sleep and rest.

We just asked for what we desired. Moreover, that desire was for our survival, and besides all of the tired faces of our parents and care supports, they needed that information to keep us alive and to raise the next generation.

Throwback to Paris, in 1989, when my first genius communication moment arose. As a three-year-old in that time, I can only remember some blurry and flashes of memory that keep coming to my mind.

We were at the beach in Nice. I remember that I had a shovel, a yellow bucket, and a green turtle, and I was so excited to play with sand and run to the water and run away from a mellow wave. It was so beautiful and magical. All those shimmering and water kept changing color as the sun was setting. I kept playing and don't remember where my parents, aunt, and my cousins were. I was playing in my magical world. Suddenly I started looking around and couldn't find my parents. I was looking around. It was super crowded and hard to see a familiar face like a little child. At that moment, two giant legs with a bright neon pink swimsuit held my hands and walked me away. I remember so vividly as it was yesterday! Don't ask me how because I have no idea how I remember it that sharp.

I was surprised but had no idea what was going on. I tried to look up to see the person's face, but they were too tall for three years old to reach the top. They didn't say anything, and if they would, I didn't know French. They took me to a little kiosk/station. It seemed it was a tiny gray station in the middle of the beach with an officer taking care of it. The next moment I remember, there were 4 or 5 other kids in the same kiosk, just like me. They were crying nonstop, and as they were crying louder and were screaming, their parents came one by one, held them tight, kissed them, and took them away from the kiosk.

All the kids were almost gone, and no one came after me yet. I was alone in the kiosk, and the officer was walking back and forth through the entrance. I don't even remember if the officer started any conversation with me. I was confused, and the idea of stocking there or losing my parents started worrying me more.

Suddenly, a thought came to me that maybe I have to cry as well, like other kids! I thought maybe that's an alert signal to my loved ones to be able to find me there! So I looked around and started crying. After a while, my cousin entered the gray kiosk in a hurry and held me and started kissing me. My mom, my dad, and everyone came in, and one by one, kept me in their arms. They were so happy that they could finally find me.

The moment that I thought to cry was a golden moment of desire for communication, a survival tactic, or at least at that age and that situation, that was my solution. That was my second genius communication idea for that age. Using the oldest language for a child to communicate. Sometimes I think, crying in my adulthood is also related to that time. Hoping for someone to rescue me from anything I am facing at that moment in my life, I am sure it is a language for many of you.

We are in the lockdown and quarantine in California since the end of March and a few months less or more; the whole world is in lockdown because of the COVID-19 and pandemic. In these past few months, we are experiencing physical distancing and a different way of communication.

The interesting question for me and might be yours is, how are we communicating these days? How do we practice and develop our creative communication muscles? How are we communicating with one another? Momentarily, two of the critical tools of carrying expressions covered with masks, and our touch sense is gone as we are apart for 6 feet. So, how can we understand someone's expression while shopping for groceries? How can we share our emotions? What is our genius communication idea these days? So many questions are going around my head. I think this is one of the reasons that I am going back to see how I was communicating, and we were communicating from when we were born until this moment.

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